Thank You for Practicing Social Gratitude

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COVID-19 has given some of us a gift—a gift we’ve been asking for—and now that we have it, we don’t know what to do with it. What gift is that? The gift of time. Although this gift comes with some limitations—keep your seat-belt fastened and refrain from walking freely about the cabin—nevertheless, it’s a gift. We’ve gained hours back in our day, because we no longer commute to work, the gym, or after-hour activities. We don’t have to taxi our kids around to school and their extra-circular activities. Some of us, unfortunately, have no productive work, because we’ve been furloughed, laid off, and executive orders have closed most small businesses.

How are you going to enjoy or use your time, or better asked, how are you going to enjoy using it? Will you call and connect with old friends? Play board games with your family? Take an online course to improve a skill? Or try out some new recipes in the kitchen?

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While you’re practicing physical distancing, don’t waste this valuable time. What’s on your “enjoy” list? Hopefully there are a few things that focus on serving others. One of my favorites is handwriting [or printing in the case of the younger generations] a letter to friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, charities, and ministry partners to express your gratitude for them and what they do. Share what you value most in them, their contributions, and their friendship.

Physical distancing doesn’t mean social distancing. In fact, I suggest we practice social gratitude. Although you can call and tell them over the phone how you feel, there’s nothing more heart-warming than to receive a handwritten letter you can re-read again and again. Written words have sustaining affirmation.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

6 Tips in Leading a Remote Team Via Virtual Meetings

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COVID-19 has forced individuals and teams into a new structure of working—remote. Some have already mastered the art of virtual operations, while many others haven’t yet. Even those experts in scheduling, navigating, and sharing documents on Microsoft Teams, Zoom, and WebEx, are now part of teams where members are less experienced at maneuvering in this virtual world.

Virtual meetings have become a practical tool to continue the work by those healthy enough to do so while keeping them safe. Frequent video meetings can be used to help everyone feel included, aligned, and moving toward their goals. Leading a successful virtual team meeting during these unprecedented times is an important skill and somewhat different than leading an in-person meeting in normal times.

Leaders who are leading a remote team via video call meetings should consider the following:

  1. Invest time learning the virtual meeting technology so you waste less team time learning the mechanics on the job. You will also become a resource for other team members. Practice with other family members at home to gain proficiency.
  2. Schedule time to connect with other team members before the start of the agenda. Have everyone share one funny or positive event. Let everyone know they are welcome to join at any time during the first 15 minutes which will be more social and a time to check-in.
  3. Now more than ever it’s necessary to create an agenda and issue it prior to the meeting so the group is clear on what will be discussed and how they can effectively prepare.
  4. Plan virtual meetings that are shorter and more interactive and save information sharing for email and text.
  5. Encourage use of the video component of the meeting so everyone can see faces and make it feel more like a face-to-face meeting. Studies show that how we communicate is 7% words, 38% tone of voice, and 55% body language. Video allows us to more clearly understand the message.
  6. Review and eliminate non-value add meetings. Many meetings have ceased to bring the value they once did. They served their purpose and now might be the right time to retire them. Turning a routine meeting into a virtual meeting can sometimes give you the perspective on its true value.

Some studies forecast that after COVID-19 runs its course, more people will be working remotely than ever before. Develop your skills now, and you will be in a better position to lead your remote team members well.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

How to Nail the Job Interview with Your Story

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Landing a job is a two-part process: (1) creating the resume to get the interview and (2) interviewing well to get the job offer. Both require different skills sets. Some people are good at both, whereas, others have a competency for one or the other. Creating a best practice resume is usually the easier task, because there’s an abundance of technical support in the market. On the other hand, the interview can be more challenging, because you have to go it alone.

So, how does one ace the interview? There are many factors that contribute toward nailing the interview including “making a good first impression” with eye contact, wardrobe, and handshake. Next is how well you answer the interviewer’s questions. Most will ask a range of open-ended questions to learn more about you—how you think, work, and will fit into the company culture. How you structure your answer is just as powerful as the content.

A powerful way to answer questions is through storytelling. People naturally learn, relate, and retain more when information is shared through stories. So, if you’re asked, “Tell me about a time when you struggled with a work project or situation,” answer it with a story that has the following structure:

  1. Briefly describe the experience. No need to provide too much detail, because the interviewer will ask if he or she wants to know more.
  2. Explain what actions you took. And why.
  3. Describe what happened. What was the main outcome of the action you took?
  4. Summarize what you learned from the experience. Keep it simple, positive, and impactful.

If you’d like to learn more on how to create a powerful resume and/or be your best in the interview, reach out for a conversation.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

Your Energy Score: What It Means for Your Leadership

nathan-mcbride-mokWXKenVoY-unsplashWhen you hear the word energy your first thoughts might be of gasoline, oil, or electricity. If you’re a physicist, you might think of different types such as potential energy (stored) versus kinetic energy (movement). A geologist might think of thermal energy and lava moving below the earth’s crust. But what about human energy? Have you ever met someone and come away saying, “What great energy. I’d love to work on her team.” Or perhaps you’ve thought, “If I only had his energy, I could get so much done.” Can people get more of what they see others have? The simple answer is yes.

What is Energy?

Energy is inherently neither good or bad. It is just a measure of what is. When you gravitate toward someone, you are likely attracted to his or her energy. Energy is life. The more energy you have, the more life you have. [1]

Energy Levels

People who score on the low end of the energy continuum are described by others with phrases such as always in a bad mood, has a victim mentality, creates a toxic environment, and possibly depressed. On the other end, people who score high in energy are described as passionate, enthusiastic, positive, supportive, and creative. No one stays at the highest energy levels all the time, but he or she can choose to stay on one side of the continuum versus the other.

Energy Levels

Schneider (2008) describes seven distinct levels of energy which are:

  1. Victim, lack of choice, fearful, I can’t, I have to
  2. Anger, combativeness, resistance, fighting energy
  3. Rationalizing, acceptance of what is
  4. Care, compassion, service to others
  5. Reconciliation, win-win
  6. Creative genius, visionary, intuitive
  7. Complete passion for all aspects of life, oneness

Your Energy Score

Which of the seven statements would you currently most identify with respect to your work environment?

  1. I’m upset. He just ignores me. It’s like I don’t even exist.
  2. I’m going to tell her off. I’m so mad at her.
  3. It’s okay. I guess I’ll just deal with it.
  4. I really want the best for my co-worker and company. I’ll support her in any way I can.
  5. Where’s the opportunity? How can we both win?
  6. We’re all connected, and everything here has value and purpose.
  7. I feel passion and joy here and in all situations.

Your Leadership

Your energy score impacts not only how you see the world but also influences your ability to lead. It reflects how people see you and will respond to your leadership. People with low energy scores rarely have sustainable influence except to the extent given to them by their positions of assigned power.

If you want to improve your leadership, check your energy score and see what adjustments you need to make in order to build a solid platform from which to lead. If you need help moving your energy score up, I can help. Reach out for a conversation.

 [1] Fun fact: Life as we know it ceases to exist at 0 Kelvin or -273 Celsius.

References

Schneider, B. (2008). Energy Leadership: Transforming Your Workplace and Your Life from the Core. Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. Sandra has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about her by visiting her website: www.shinecrossings.com

 

How to Create Your 10-Year Vision

matt-noble-BpTMNN9JSmQ-unsplashWhat’s your thought when someone says, “I have a 10-year vision?” Would it be (1) Wow! (2) How do you do that? (3) Not for me, or perhaps (4) I wouldn’t know where to start. The truth is that if you don’t have a vision on where you’re headed, the current of daily life will take you wherever it meanders. Where will that be? Who knows? Yet, many people regret not being more intentional with their lives as evidenced by many deathbeds regrets.

Don’t let regret be a major theme of your later years. Set a vision toward where you want to go or what you want to do. Know that the daily pressures of life will at times push you off your path. That’s to be expected, but when you know the direction you’re headed, you can pivot and get back on the path. A vision doesn’t have to be accomplished in 1 year or even 5 years. Some visions can take 10 years or longer to achieve.

Below is my recipe for how to step forward into a 10-year vision. I give a name to each year which represents the focus for that year. Replace it with a word of your own if it has more meaning for you. The name is there to remind and motivate you until you reach your destination. Twenty-twenty is the perfect year to start your 10-year vision. Think of Vision 2020 as the decade challenge in achieving something bigger than you ever imagined.

Year 1: EXPERIMENT and say “yes” to the new

This is the year to say “yes” to meeting new people, trying new things, having different conversations, and creating new experiences. Be open to new world perspectives and thinking. Challenge your long-held beliefs and assumptions that might be holding you back from achieving more and walking in your purpose.

Year 2: Define and describe your VISION

With consideration of your last year of experiments and new experiences, write down a vision of where you want to be in 10 years. What are you doing? Describe the world around you. Write down a strategy, tactical plans, and a budget to get there. Break your vision into 3 big moves or steps. Each step may include one or multiple activities.

Year 3: Forge PARTNERSHIPS

Most people can’t reach their 10-year vision without some help from others. You may need expertise, financial backing, additional hands/feet on the ground, or emotional support. Identify and build relationships that will help you reach your vision.

Year 4: PREPARE yourself

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a big move? Do you need to improve your health, land a certain job, reconcile certain relationships, or live within a budget? Get ready to move and press forward.

Year 5: Step FORWARD into your first big move

Big, big move! Press into the vision. Does that mean relocating, downsizing, or buying something? This is where fear and cold feet can enter the picture. Up until this point, visioning was more a paper exercise or fit into your daily life. Don’t stop now. You are making change toward something you’ve dreamed about.

Year 6: SOLIDIFY the foundation

Operate and settle into the new platform on which you are standing. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, because there will be more of it. You’re building resilience.

Year 7: REST

Review all that has happened. Has anything changed with regards to your vision? What adjustments do you need to make? Recharge your batteries, because it’s time to press on.

Year 8: ONWARD

Take a second big step toward your vision. It’s getting real. This second step should feel uncomfortable again. You have the confidence from your first successful move to know that if you can dream it, you can achieve it.

Year 9: PUSH

Push forward. Take another step onward. By now putting one foot in front of the other is feeling more comfortable. You should have reached your vision.

Year 10: CELEBRATE

Take time to enjoy what you’ve accomplished, how you’ve grown, and start dreaming of your next big vision.

clark-tibbs-oqStl2L5oxI-unsplashSome might say that taking 10 years to reach a vision is too long. Others may think 10 years is too short. Work the steps at the pace you feel comfortable. These steps are just a way to take the concept of visioning and making it more manageable and less intimidating for those who become overwhelmed with the thought of visioning.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

The One Big Question Every Sales Person Needs to Answer

linkedin-sales-navigator-YDVdprpgHv4-unsplashDespite what you might have read, sales success isn’t a skill only a lucky few are born with, a science, or an art form. Anyone has the potential to sell, and to sell well. The truth be told, selling is less about skill, processes, and following a set of rules and more the natural outcome of the condition of your heart and ability to connect with people. If you want to improve the outcome of your selling efforts, you should first take inventory of who you are and your motivations. Selling starts with you, and all that follows flows from who you are.

Who are you?

A few questions to get you started:

  • What are you core values, strengths, and weaknesses?
  • What attitudes, motivations, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and worldview do you hold?
  • What are your skills and competencies?
  • How do you show up to others?

You must get in touch with your authentic self. Why? Because you will either choose to drive on who you are or do some hard work to change. You can’t fool people. Humans have natural Geiger counters when it comes to assessing and judging people. They may or may not be able to explain why they feel the way they do about certain people, but they instinctively know whether they like or dislike a sales person or even perhaps even worse have no preference.

What’s the big question that every sales person should ask themselves? “How do I make people feel?” Sales is fundamentally one person saying yes to another.

  • Do they trust you?
  • Do they believe you are competent?
  • Do they believe you have their best interest at heart?
  • Do they believe you are searching for the win-win and not the salesperson take all?
  • Do they believe you are authentic in your interactions with them?

The answers to these questions can’t be faked, because they all stem from a salesperson’s heart. Successful selling starts with showing up authentically, so you can genuinely connect with the customer. If you need help exploring, working on, or connecting your authentic self with selling, reach out for a conversation.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

What’s Your Listening Score?

mimi-thian-lp1AKIUV3yo-unsplashListening is a powerful communication skill that affects your leadership influence and relationships. When you listen well, people notice. Why? Because most people don’t practice good listening. Instead, they typically focus on being heard.

Ribbers and Waringa (2015) define seven levels of listening which are:

  1. Continually interrupts people, impatient when listening, wants to hear him- or herself talk, doesn’t get to the point easily
  2. Restrains him- or herself enough to listen but with visible signs of impatience, prefers to talk about own experiences
  3. Listens to others, polite and observes standard conversational etiquette, reactive conversational partner, doesn’t actively draw out others to talk
  4. Lets others talk, asks for clarifications, prefers to keep conversations about business
  5. Always takes the time to willingly listen, comes across as interested in the other person, gives appropriate feedback
  6. Gets people talking, exchanges information, listens well to others while giving natural responses, asks questions to get to the heart of the subject
  7. Expresses sensitivity to the needs of others, makes time for people, asks questions to clarify, gives feedback, shows involvement

We can’t always listen at a level seven, and frankly, not all conversations require a seven. However, we should be holistically aware of where we tend to operate and decide whether we need to focus on improving our listening skill. These listening definitions can also help us identify which conversations require which level of listening in order to improve the outcome for both speaker and listener. With a defined scale as reference, it’s easier to target and measure improvement.

Reference

Ribbers, A., & Waringa, A. (2015). E-Coaching: Theory and Practice for a New Online Approach to Coaching. New York, NY: Routledge.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as your coach by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

E-Coaching: A Powerful Coaching Option

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Technology now allows us to write and send messages more efficiently and at our own comfortable pace. Gone are the days of conversation delays via trans-Atlantic letters and the Pony Express (a.k.a. snail mail). Because we can communicate in writing over the internet/SMS, e-coaching (e-mail/electronic coaching) was born and continues to grow in popularity.

E vs. Face-to-face Coaching

Coaching is a powerful process that can be delivered in many ways: face-to-face, video, telephone call, and through e-mail. Coaching has evolved with technology, and this has been to the benefit of the client. Some people like e-coaching more than face-to-face.

My clients enjoy e-coaching, because it allows them to deal with bite-size issues that fit with their personal situations better than the longer face-to-face sessions. They may be actively working toward their goals and only need to connect with a coach to bounce off an idea, brainstorm, or get a different perspective.

E-coaching can be just as effective, if not more than face-to-face coaching, because it allows clients the time and space to reflect, think, and consider their response. For people who have a preference toward introversion and a need for more self-reflection and introspection, e-coaching can feel more powerful, giving them a greater sense of control during the coaching process. If you’d like to learn more about your personal preferences toward intro- versus extroversion, read more about the Myers-Briggs.

Future of E-Coaching

E-coaching will continue to evolve with companies eager to apply its concepts on multiple fronts. Woosh5 incorporates e-coaching as an option to its resilience survey and platform of exercises. Shine Crossings offers a monthly subscription service that combines e-mail/small-call coaching on any topic a client needs help. Although face-to-face may continue to be the mainstream mode of coaching, e-coaching has a growing role in the coaching industry and may be the main catalyst for its growth.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

Leadership Ideas Worth Sharing

 When a leader get better, everyone wins!

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Global Leadership Summit was packed with a wealth of leadership principles, strategies, tactics, and messages delivered from an all-star leadership faculty. If you missed the speakers, I’ve captured some key highlights. Read through these concepts and decide which ones resonate with you. Which ones might you want to put into action?


Craig Groeschel (Co-founder and Senior Pastor, Life Church)

  • Leaders have influence. Everyone has influence, so everyone is a leader. Leaders can learn from anyone.
  • False assumption: better always costs more. The truth: investing more eventually gives a diminishing return. Leaders look for ways to bend the curve by increasing value with lower costs.
  • Practice GETMO: Good Enough To Move On. Perfection is often the enemy of progress.
  • Think inside the box. Constraints drive creativity by eliminating options.
  • You have everything you need to do everything you are called to do.
  • If you had everything you wanted, you might miss what you really need.
  • Burn the ships: eliminate options to turn back.
  • If you commit to the what and are consumed with the why, you’ll figure out the how.

Bozoma Saint John (CMO, Endeavor)

  • Creating company culture is 100% everyone’s responsibility.
  • Show up in your most brilliant, authentic self.

Ben Sherwood (Former Co-Chairman, Disney Media Networks)

  • The speed of change can be daunting for leadership, and leader cannot be afraid to lose.
  • Leaders in crisis need to know:
    • The study of asymmetrical conflict shows that the stronger side wins when conventional tactics are used in conventional conflict; whereas, unconventional tactics win 63% of the time in unconventional conflict.
    • The theory of 10/80/10: in a crisis, 10% if the people will emerge as leaders, 80% will freeze and wait for someone to tell them what to do, and 10% will engage in negative behavior.
  • Leadership secret: unlock team performance by “connecting”

Liz Bohannon (Co-founder & Co-CEO, Sseko Designs)

  • Beginner’s Luck is the supposed phenomenon of novices experiencing success; wheres, Beginner’s Pluck is spirited and determined courage.
  • Good leaders turn the stages of learning into a continuous cycle:
    • unconscious incompetence: you don’t know what you don’t know
    • conscious incompetence: ouch, you know what you don’t know
    • conscious competence: I can do it, but it takes effort
    • unconscious competence: I’m so good I can do this in my sleep. Good
  • Leaders don’t choose comfort.
  • You’re never going to find your passion; you’re going to build it.
  • Dream small, not big. Small dreams have a surprising power. Dreaming small will allow you to take the next step.
  • Leaders are not the heroes for others but help others be the heroes of their own life.

Jason Dorsey (#1 Rated Gen Z & Millennial Researcher & Speaker)

The Center of Generational Kinetics is the #1 generational research and consulting center studying the WHY behind the behaviors.

  • Parenting styles and natural relationships with technology are the only two parameters that shape generations.
    • Parenting influences everything. Entitlement is a learned behavior, reinforced in schools, and now culturally acceptable.
    • Technology is only new if you have the reference of remembering what it was like before.
  • Generations are not defined by chronological years but predictable behavioral changes. Cuspers are in between behavioral changes.
  • Millennials are the largest generation currently in the workforce and the only generation to split into two segments (Mega-llennials and Me-llennials). Many are experiencing significant delays in real-world traction (adulting): marriage, jobs/careers, and parenthood. By age 30, the two Millennial population segment can no longer relate to each other.
  • Millennials are tech dependent, not tech savvy.
  • Gen-X are squeezed between taking care of parents and kids, naturally skeptical, and are typically the glue of the organization.
  • Boomers know geography, define and measure work output in hours/week, believe there are no shortcuts to success, and are focused on policies and procedures.
  • Gen Z’s parents are Gen X or older Millennials. Their philosophy to parenting is you will not end up like those entitled Millennials. Gen Z are practical with money, shop in thrift stores, and in some cases are leap frogging Millennials.
  • Leadership tips to manage the Gen Z: (1) provide specific examples of the performance you expect—how it looks, (2) drive on the outcome—they do not think linearly—show the end first, and (3) provide quick-hit feedback.
  • Every generation brings something to the table and all generations lead.

Danielle Strickland (Pastor, Author, Justice Advocate)

  • Leaders not just survive but are part of transformational change.
  • Transformational change starts with your beliefs. Beliefs shape values which leads to action and then results. A leader’s beliefs are the roots from which everything grows. Is it true what you believe? Or is it faulty?
  • Stages of transformational change: (1) comfortable, (2) unsettled and disruptive, (3) chaos (scary and exciting), (4) less scared/more exciting, and (5) new normal.
  • Embrace the process of change. Disruption is not a threat but an invitation to a new normal. And leaders should not be afraid to ask for help.

Devon Franklin (CEO, Franklin Entertainment)

  • BE YOU: own and cultivate your own recipe for success versus stealing someone else’s.
  • The key to leadership is the struggle with our difference, because our difference is our destiny. Difference can be painful, because sometimes it’s hard to stand out. Your difference looks good on you. Own who you are.
  • Keep differences sharp and not sanded down. Your difference is your key to enter into your destiny.
  • Stop being quiet, use your voice. Resist the exchange for what makes you different with what is common in order to fit in.
  • Don’t be afraid of discomfort. Discomfort means you are on the right path. Don’t retreat, keep going.
  • How to own your difference: (1) admit you are different, (2) do not confuse someone else’s distinctiveness for your own, (3) hang with those who encourage your difference, and (4) be salt and light. Shake your creativity on others and take your light where it is dark and where no one else will go.
  • Your difference makes a difference.

Patrick Lencioni (CEO, The Table Group, and Best-selling Author)

  • Leadership is a privilege. You need to know your “why” to be the leader. If you don’t know your why, your “how” won’t matter. What is the motivation behind why you want to lead?
  • There are two types of leader motivations: servant leader and reward-based.
  • Reward-centered leaders have common behaviors of abdicating responsibility and delegating what only they should do, and this hurts people. Characteristics of the reward-centered leader: (1) avoids and pushes uncomfortable conversations onto others, (2) doesn’t coach direct reports, (3) is unaware of what the team is working on, (4) doesn’t align the team, (5) runs poor meetings which lead to poor decisions, (6) avoids team building because not comfortable with emotions, and (7) under communicates.
  • Servant leadership is the only kind of leadership. If you are the reward-centered leader, do the right thing by either leaning into leadership or resigning.

Chris Voss (Former FBI Hostage Negotiator, CEO of The Black Swan Group)

  • If the words “I want …” or “I need …” are coming out of your mouth, you are negotiating.
  • Negotiation is a learned skill.
  • Negotiation is about connecting and collaborating. Tactical empathy—everyone wants to be heard and understood. Empathy—understand where people are coming from and communicating that to them.
  • Listening is a martial art. Mirroring is tactical listening and responding to the other person. Effective pauses give people the chance to respond.
  • Calibrate to a “no” versus a forced “yes”. When a person can say “no” they feel emotionally safe and protected and are able to continue in the negotiation.
  • The words “that’s right …” continues the conversation; whereas, “you’re right …” stops the conversation. The fastest way to end a conversation is to say, “You’re right.”
  • If you are “likeable”, you are 6 times more likely to make a deal.
  • You want to understand why someone is asking for something. “What makes you want that?” is a better question than “Why do you want that?”
  • When a negotiation is slipping away, you want to say, “It doesn’t feel like I’ve earned your trust.” This keeps the negotiation going.
  • Ask HOW questions, because it gets people thinking.
  • Genuine curiosity is the counter for when fear creeps into the negotiation.

Aja Brown (Mayor of Compton, California)

  • Vision is the vehicle to creating momentum
  • Collaboration is the momentum multiplier to move on mission

Jia Jiang (Best-selling Author, Entrepreneur)

Concepts in how to use or interpret rejection:

  • Rejection is a numbers game. Ask enough times and eventually someone will say yes.
  • Rejection is the opinion of the rejecter only.
  • Rejection is an opportunity for growth. When you embrace rejection, you gain confidence.

Todd Henry (Founder of Accidental Creative and Leadership Consultant)

  • Creative professionals are prolific, brilliant, and healthy. If you are missing one component you poor results:
    • Prolific + Brilliant – Healthy = Fried
    • Healthy + Brilliant – Prolific = Unreliable
    • Prolific + Healthy – Brilliant = Fired
  • Leading your teams on two dimensions: (1) stability (clarity + protection) and (2) challenge (permission + faith). Based on these two dimensions, teams can be categorized into one of four groups:
    • Angry: high challenge/low stability
    • Lost: low challenge/low stability
    • Stuck: low challenge/high stability
    • Thrive: high challenge/high stability
  • Leaders will be rewarded with the best work of their team, if they can move members into the thriving category.
  • Trust is the currency of a creative team. Leaders forfeit trust by declaring things that are undeclarable and being a superhero.
  • Leaders move from leading by control to leading to influence. Focus on bounded autonomy—principles under which to do work.

Krish Kandiah (Founder, Home for Good)

  • Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

Jo Sexton (Author, Leadership Coach)

  • U.S. organizations are facing a burnout crisis.
  • Fifty percent of CEOs feel lonely, and 60% say loneliness affects their leadership.
  • Questions every leader should be asking themselves: (1) who were you before people told you who you were, (2) what would your body say if it could talk to you, and (3) who are your people?

Bear Grylls (Adventurer, Writer, and TV Host)

  • The first failure gives you freedom.
  • Our fears make us real and relatable.
  • True wealth is found in our relationships.

Craig Groeschel (Co-founder and Senior Pastor, Life Church)

  • Kindness changes people. The fastest way to change people’s minds is to connect with their hearts.
  • Knowledge alone rarely leads to action. Knowledge leads to conclusions, and emotions leads to action. Three important questions: what do I want them to know, feel, and do?
  • Share stories purposefully. Stories stick, but facts fade. We have two processors: emotional and logical. Emotional is the default processor. When you use a story, you connect the heart of emotions to the strength of the logical—igniting a power action. “Let me tell you a story…” is an opener that gets people’s attention.
  • Choose words deliberately, because the words you choose determine the emotions people will feel. When crafting vision and values, use powerful words.
  • Share vulnerability deliberately but don’t overshare. We may impress people with our strengths, but we connect through our weaknesses. Show people what’s in your heart. People would rather follow a leader who is real versus right.

About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com

Teamwork: Know, Share, and Leverage the Power of Personality

you-x-ventures-Oalh2MojUuk-unsplashHave you ever wondered why someone did, decide, or say something you won’t have? Personality has a tremendous influence on how we take in data, process it, draw conclusions and interact with our world. When you understand the power of personality, you will have greater insights into how you and others think, decide, and do.

campaign-creators-gMsnXqILjp4-unsplashI encourage everyone to explore their natural tendencies through the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment and find out which personality type best describes him or her. There are 16 primary types that explain why people tend to think and behave the way they do.

ESFP: Enthusiastic Improviser

ISFJ: Practical Helper

ESTP: Energetic Problem-solver

INFJ: Insightful Visionary

ENTP: Enterprising Explorer

ISTJ: Responsible Realist

ESFJ: Supporter Contributor

ISFP: Versatile Supporter

ENFJ: Compassionate Facilitator

INTP: Objective Analyst

ENFP: Imaginative Motivator

INTJ: Conceptual Planner

ESTJ: Efficient Organizer

INFP: Thoughtful Idealist

ENTJ: Decisive Strategist

ISTP: Logical Pragmatist

Regardless of your personality preferences, you have a choice to act in ways you believe will help you succeed in any relationship and environment. Yet, without stress or external influences, we all have a natural way of expressing ourselves.

nesa-by-makers-kwzWjTnDPLk-unsplashNo personality type is better or worse, because they all bring value to solving problems and growing a business. If each team member understands who they are and others on their team, they can intentionally leverage the power of personality to win. If you want to bring the power of Myers-Briggs to your office, let’s discuss a workshop that can unleash the power of personality among your teams.


About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership and business consulting. She administers DISC® and Myers-Briggs/MBTI® testing, designs and facilitates workshops, and coaches both individuals and teams. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra by reaching out to her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com or by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com