Self-Leadership: Behaviors That Make a Difference

Are you completely satisfied with the condition or performance of your job, marriage, relationships, or personal finances?  If you are like most people, you might agree that one of these areas or another could use more focus or strengthening. Once someone has decided to move down the path of change, the next step may leave a big question mark on how to start.

I propose that sustainable change is rooted in adopting new behaviors, that if practiced long enough, will typically turn into new lifelong habits.  Covey (2004) has studied human behavior and identified seven key habits that differentiate those who are holistically more effective in accomplishing what others do not.   When these habits are applied to various life areas, they can result in impactful change.  In action, Covey (2004) describes these behaviors as:

1. Takes initiative: decides to be proactive versus reactive
2. Sets vision: begins with the end in mind
3. Prioritizes: puts first things first and second things second
4. Thinks positively: looks for the win-win and not the win-lose
5. Listens more than speaks: hears versus tells
6. Solves problems: looks for synergy and compromise
7. Invests in self-improvement: understands the importance of learning and growing

Each of these seven core behaviors can make a difference in how you perform and how others perceive you.  Should you decide to challenge yourself to improve at one of these habits, I would suggest first rating yourself on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 highest) on how well you embrace that personal habit.  Next, determine one or two that would be most meaningful to improve.  Then, think of one or two behaviors you could adopt that would increase your self-rating in that area.  Think of it as a SMART challenge, with SMART defined as (S) specific, (M) measurable, (A) achievable, (R) relevant and realistic, and (T) time sensitive.

When I review the list, habit #5 stands out for me.  I am highly extroverted, which means I tend to talk more than others.  My SMART challenge is to ensure that there is a pause (silence) in the conversation before I share my next thought.  This will force me to talk less, not interrupt, and listen more. I encourage you to think about your personal habits, determine which one you want to improve upon for greater effectiveness, and create a SMART challenge by which you could measure your progress.

Reference

Covey, S.R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

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About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach and consultant with an extensive background in leadership and business development.  She coaches individuals as well as designs and facilitates workshops.  She has a passion to help organizations engage all its employees.  You can learn more about Sandra by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com.

Will You Live Your Legend?

As Hurricane Harvey cleanup continues, Houstonians are left with the task of restoring their lives.  Many survivors are asking themselves, “What does my life look like post-Harvey?”  With a potential paradigm shift, I hope people are asking the important question: “What is the purpose of my life?” Is the answer pre-hurricane status or something different?

Harvey challenged people to exercise their survival muscle and care for the needs of their friends and community.  Whether or not directly impacted by rising floodwaters, I bet most would agree Harvey had a blessing—a catalyst for change to strengthen spiritually, build greater confidence, and live out purpose as well as to restore community during times when the country has been in civil and political divide.  During Harvey’s punch, people were blinded to any labels of religion, race, and politics as people helped people.  Harvey enabled everyone to focus on what was important—people.

The aftermath of Harvey can also provide the opportunity for a new life versus one of the past—perhaps a life richer in purpose, work, community, and relationships.  Some may question how can they rebuild a life without following the old blueprint.  I would start by exploring and identifying the core values which reflect the essence of oneself.  Values reflect what one is willing to struggle for and the pain one is willing to endure to achieve an outcome.  A reconstructed life may also reflect answers to the following questions:

1. What do I want more of in my life?
2. What do I want less of in my life?
3. What will I regret if I don’t try or do it?
4. What one thing can I change that would have a positive impact my life?

Everyone is the author of his/her life.  What will you choose to do with your one life?  If you are a parent, are you allowing your children to live in their purpose, or are your fears and desires manifesting themselves in how you design their lives?

When you find your purpose, your energy will continue to feed that passion.  Be encouraged through adversity, because anything worth achieving requires struggle.  Do not give up hope, but be hopeful.  In the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey some people are finally questioning their purpose and taking steps that will allow them to Live Their Legend.

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About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach and consultant with an extensive background in leadership and business development.  She coaches individuals as well as designs and facilitates workshops.  She has a passion to help organizations engage all its employees.  You can learn more about Sandra by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com.

The Gift of Personal Coaching

I hold a strong belief there’s always a blessing within a tragedy. One needs only to look hard and beyond the grief. By all standards, Hurricane Harvey has been an unprecedented tragedy for those living near the Texas Gulf Coast. Despite the loss, I’ve seen the blessing of people helping people and heard the personal testimonies of those who’ve had a paradigm shift in their thinking and an awakening of their purpose.

I’m excited for those who want to explore new goals or make changes in certain areas of their lives. Encouraged and passionate to partner with people to make their personal dreams come to fruition, I’m offering a special life and leadership coaching package. I have a desire for people to take advantage of their new found thinking, as they work through this tragedy, to create a vision/mission or make a commitment to improve some aspect of their lives. While my time allows, I am offering new clients 4 coaching sessions for a deeply discounted rate of $250 with 20% of the proceeds donated to local charities.

If you or someone you know would like to learn more, I welcome the opportunity to discuss whether coaching would be of benefit and how I might help. You can email me at sandra.s.dillon@hotmail.com, call me at 281.793.374, or visit my website at www.shinecrossings.com.

You Know Your Purpose But Do You Have the Discipline?

Someone says, “I know my purpose,“ and then follows it with the question, “What steps can I take to ensure I live out that purpose?”  Good question!  People often question how they will keep going when the road is long.  Passion is a key ingredient, but it may not be enough to get to the finish.  What else can help?  Certain tools and disciplines can set one up for success which include:

1. Flexing the “no” muscle. Many people are either excited to be involved in everything or feel guilty in saying no when asked to help.  Great leaders are comfortable saying no, because saying yes would dilute their valuable resources of time and money.  They honor themselves by saying no to anything that distracts them from achieving their purpose.  Take inventory and decide whether there are any “yes” items that need to move to the “no” list.
2. Creating the space for re-energizing activities. When thinking about a schedule, one should plan for recreational activities.  Leaders need time to relax to recharge their batteries.  Some need a big dose of quiet time with a good read, others need time to socialize with friends, and still others need gym time.
3. Planning and practicing time management. Once the “yes” list is honed and prioritized, one should create a calendar with sufficient time mapped for those activities that re-energize and achieve purpose.  If a schedule cannot accommodate all “yes” activities, the forced rank list should help one decide which items need to move to the “no” list.  This iterative calendar exercise provides objective clarity so one does not over-schedule and dilute focus.
4. Surrounding oneself with positive influences. Attitudes and words are powerful in how they can either uplift or drain energy.  Driving on purpose requires high levels of sustained energy; therefore, leaders invite positive and encouraging people into their circle of influence.
5. Choosing a coaching partner. Professional coaches help clients stay accountable to their goals.  When life continues to put pressure to say “yes,” when calendars get too full, when recreational activities are squeezed, and when one needs encouragement, a coach is there for support.

Anything worth doing has never been easy.  Easy comes through self-discipline and leaning on external resources that align with purpose.  Self-discipline is a muscle to be flexed, and it strengthens through continued exercise. 

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About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach and consultant with an extensive background in leadership and business development.  She coaches individuals as well as designs and facilitates workshops.  She has a passion to help organizations engage all its employees.  You can learn more about Sandra by visiting her website at www.shinecrossings.com.